SPEAKER_02 0:00

Guess what guys and girls? I've been married to this hottie toddy doctor for three months now. And we both have very, very regimented lives. We l we like to have we very very very systemized. We're not we don't just do things frivolously in general. Which creates opportunity for conflict, conflict, conflict, conflict, conflict. Who's gonna win? Is it David and his ulcerous loud voice and energy and passion? Or is it Lara, the CrossFit doctor?

SPEAKER_00 0:44

I've been trying to teach David that in marriage it isn't a competition necessarily. But apparently it's a good idea. Everything is a competition.

SPEAKER_02 0:53

Everything is a competition. Even this question.

SPEAKER_00 0:56

I didn't know this uh podcast was going that direction.

SPEAKER_02 1:01

Alright. So uh we want to do a three-month in review, coming on four months of being married, of what it's been like to create our health our healthy, happy habits and making them work.

SPEAKER_00 1:18

In this new time of life with a new person.

SPEAKER_02 1:20

Yes. And uh not all of it's been sunshine and rainbows. We've had to work through some things.

SPEAKER_00 1:28

I I think it's going pretty good though.

SPEAKER_02 1:29

Oh, it's going great. Don't get me wrong. But the idea of everything is gonna be flawless all the time and there's like I think if people come in with that expectation, they're gonna be very disappointed. That's very true.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

But I mean, what do they say? What's the quote? It's like you're the you vote you say this to me. You're the sum of the five people. Yeah, so if that's true, then the person that you live with and are married to is gonna kind of be a big deal.

SPEAKER_02 1:56

Absolutely. The fact that I think a joke that women are supposed to do the dishes. Right?

SPEAKER_00 2:06

Okay, moving right along.

SPEAKER_02 2:08

They're called womenly duties, right?

SPEAKER_00 2:12

You're so funny.

SPEAKER_02 2:16

I just did the dishes. I guess we're just so we're clear. Just so we're clear, uh Lara made protein pancakes after we went for a walk with the pups and after we came back from the gym and before walking the pups. And I said we had a family motto in our household. I think it's a fair family motto. The person who cooks doesn't have to clean up afterwards. So if so that's generally the rule of thumb. So Lara cooked uh the protein pancakes, so I told her, I was like, I have all the cleaning. Is that correct?

SPEAKER_00 2:50

That you said it or you did it?

SPEAKER_02 2:52

I did it.

SPEAKER_00 2:52

I did clean the counter.

SPEAKER_02 2:54

The counter didn't be clean.

SPEAKER_00 2:56

The counter was fine. See, this is where expertise. You just made it out different.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Like that was nothing wrong with the counter. There was I did I did the dishes, I did, I put away like that that that was above and beyond. That is completely different.

SPEAKER_00 3:10

I could say something really mean right now, but I'm gonna move out of that.

SPEAKER_02 3:14

All right. Getting back to this. Um, we were kind of talking about the different areas uh that we can kind of unpack. Uh start us off. What are what is one thing that from your experience compared to mine that we've had to work through?

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Well, I mean, I think the it starts off with that both of us care about our health, right?

SPEAKER_02 3:35

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 3:35

And I think that is the number one thing.

SPEAKER_02 3:43

You drink diet coke. Diet Coke and too many energy drinks.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

Diet Coke aside. I guess uh but we still both value our health.

SPEAKER_02 3:52

And I mean I think that even before going into the I'm drinking a San Palagrino right now because at the concierge practice This is the only thing here.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

San Palagrino and the HR department has enough to Diet Coke.

SPEAKER_02 4:07

I'm feeling I'm I'm outmatched right now.

SPEAKER_00 4:11

I have made no comments on Diet Coke. I'm leaving this to you in the HR department. But um I think before going into the first topic, I think it's really important that you have some values that align before you get married. Oh, 100%. Because I, as I said, I care a lot about my health and prevention and being healthy. And so I would never have worked to get married to somebody who those things are not of value. And I don't think it ever would have gone that far.

SPEAKER_02 4:41

100%. So well, I think it's always I think we've talked about this in previous episodes. Yeah, it's important to know both of us have been very bold in saying to each other in our previous part of our history of our lives, we would have not been together.

SPEAKER_00 4:56

This is what God had us wait uh to meet each other because it would never have worked otherwise. Absolutely. But I think uh the first thing that always comes to mind, I mean, the thing that I feel like I think the most about now, which has changed over the years, is my exercise routine. I think for good or for bad, sometimes for bad, that trumps a lot of other things in my life. That's the thing I put first because I'm so I think uh it was something that was always so terrified that if I ever fell out of the routine that I would never get back into it, which is not true. But that has been the thing that um I value a lot. And so that when we got married, you were at one gym, I'm at another gym. Yep. And we stayed at our respective gyms.

SPEAKER_02 5:37

Yep. Yeah, you you have you like more of the crossfit, functional fitness, whatever terminology you want to do. Give me some bumper plates, a barbell, let me drop big weights from a from a large uh from off the floor, make loud noises.

SPEAKER_00 5:54

Be athletic.

SPEAKER_02 5:54

Be athletic. Uh that's that that's bold, but okay. Okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:58

Wait, why is that being bold?

SPEAKER_02 5:59

No, stop. Just like you said earlier, I'm not gonna say anything. I'm not gonna say anything.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

You don't think CrossFit is athletic?

SPEAKER_02 6:06

It's you you insinuated in a way like it was more athletic.

SPEAKER_00 6:10

Well, I don't think just standing and moving weights is particularly athletic. Anyways, moving that.

SPEAKER_02 6:17

Your father called me an athlete.

SPEAKER_00 6:19

That was in relation to basketball, not weight lifting.

SPEAKER_02 6:23

He looked at me after I whooped Lara. You did not whoop. Whooped Ross and I whooped Lara and Jana and a little bit of two-on-two basketball last winter. You should just like my father came up to me and goes, David, you're an athlete. Like your touch, like you're an athlete.

SPEAKER_00 6:41

I haven't heard this a hundred times.

SPEAKER_02 6:43

I digress.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

You should just be proud of the fact that your wife was willing to go two-on-two with two men.

SPEAKER_01 6:51

That's true. That's true. Okay, back on, back on back on subject. Yes.

SPEAKER_00 6:57

So we had our respective gyms and our respective routines, and we're both strength training, but in different ways, and we kept doing it. Yep. And both and so I go to the gym, I wake up nice and early.

SPEAKER_02 7:10

It's better than me in this aspect.

SPEAKER_00 7:11

This is not a better or worse than I have chosen to uh make the first thing I do in the day exercise. And uh because I want to do that, and I also have to get to work, I have to get up pretty early. So I get up about 4 a.m. and I get to the gym and do my thing. And then so uh we we fell into a really nice routine pretty quickly when we got married. That um my routine has always been to go to the gym, come home, walk the dog, and then get ready for the day. And so now I go to the gym, do my thing, I come home, now I wake David up with an energy drink.

SPEAKER_02 7:46

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 7:47

She comes in special delivery, and it pops open uh an energy drink for a moment.

SPEAKER_00 7:52

Yep, and then we take the dog, or if we have two with us, we take the dogs for a walk. Yep. That's the start of our day. And then David goes off to the gym.

SPEAKER_02 8:00

I go to the gym afterwards. And then you're to the practice by eight.

SPEAKER_00 8:04

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 8:04

Eight, eight thirty. Usually eight. I mean I try A alert. And then in general, I'm at the practice by nine, nine thirty. In general. So our and then uh there's like an hour and thirty minute buffer. Yeah. Like everything just push back like an hour and thirty, because you get up an hour and thirty before me. And then I tend to doom scroll in bed at nine. You're asleep by nine. You're dead to the world at night.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

I'm not asleep at nine. We usually aren't in bed yet.

SPEAKER_02 8:32

And then I'm usually doing a little bit of doom scrolling before I fall asleep at like Wait, but that's the next health habit.

SPEAKER_00 8:38

We're on exercise here. Yep.

SPEAKER_02 8:39

So it was exercise plus like morning routine.

SPEAKER_00 8:43

Well, I sure. But so the exercise, so that's our weekly cadence, but then weekends I will still sometimes go to the gym with David and do some other.

SPEAKER_02 8:53

We just did we just did the gym today. We went to my gym. I go I go to uh the other body shop. It's more of a bodybuilding gym. And we did some titties. And uh did Lara here. Did move some good weight. You move some weight today.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

I was feeling good on the bench press today.

SPEAKER_02 9:10

Yeah, you did you did what'd you do for four reps?

SPEAKER_00 9:13

Well, if you're listening and you're a stronger person than me, you might not be that impressed by this. But I was we were doing five by fives, and one fifteen would be a heavy that's heavy for me. And I did five by five up to one fifteen. Well, I got it only hit four, but it felt good.

SPEAKER_02 9:27

You don't have to pull back, just say what you did. Well, but someone's gonna be like, that's not that heavy. From a female perspective.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

In the even in my gym, that's not that great. I'm not that great of a bench presser.

SPEAKER_02 9:40

You're getting better at it.

SPEAKER_00 9:41

I'm getting better, but I'm not, it's not my strong suit. So um, but yeah, we were moving some good weight today, feeling good. And I think we enjoy I think it's fun that we enjoy uh strength training on like an individual level, but we also enjoy doing it together. And so I think like when we're on vacation, we do it together a lot of the times. Um, but we have our routine.

SPEAKER_02 10:02

Except we'll kinda I'll kind of go where we where we defer. Lara will go on runs. I do. I will go on walks. I will not go on runs.

SPEAKER_00 10:12

And that's okay because I don't necessarily like running with other people, as I've told you. So that is totally fine. Yes, I do still run typically twice a week, and I go do that with Jojo, my dog, and have a great time. So I think we're good at combining some of our interests in strength training and but also being individuals in it, which is kind of cool.

SPEAKER_01 10:31

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 10:32

Um, so that's exercise, but also I think um tandem to exercise is just daily physical activity. And so that's where that dog walking comes in. And I think we uh we do really enjoy doing the morning walk, and then unless the weather is really crummy, we do an evening walk, and then on weekends we might do, we'll do more than that even. So I think getting out, moving, walking, just going around the neighborhood is something we find valuable as well.

SPEAKER_02 10:58

Absolutely, it is fun to do that together, and then one of the angles that's been a dance is from this aspect, since Lara wakes up at four, is I tend to I'm not like a one, two in the morning type person in general, but I'm like a 10 30, 11 kind of guy normally. But then it was a dance even back in the day, uh, of like when should I leave?

SPEAKER_03 11:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 11:26

Before we were obviously married and living together, of like, okay, I have to be out the door by this amount of time because Lara wants to spend time, and if I don't leave, she stays up, which then ruins her sleep. That was true. That happened quite a bit. And so that's been a dance where we've had it a couple times where um uh like a late night football game, yeah, it's nine, nine o'clock, and they're still now. Well, that well, I was just saying, like watching a game. Like we're downstairs watching a game. Okay, yeah. And the the dance between, okay, Monday night football, I kinda want to watch this whole game. But then we've had to have a conversation going, Lara, if you want to go to bed, you can go to bed. And it was always like, no, I want to stay down here. It's like, you should go to bed.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yeah, I think I mean now that I think we're married, that's I'm fine with that. Like I enjoy watching football with you, but I'm not going to stay up late to watch football. It's just not gonna happen. And so I think uh I was getting really good. I was working on my sleep and getting to bed on time right before I met you.

SPEAKER_01 12:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 12:32

And then I met you, and then that all went out the window. And I still get to bed sometimes later than I would like, but I think that's that balance of um we're watching something together. You generally stay up a little bit later than me. And so I feel like we've both had to kind of come to the middle ground on it.

SPEAKER_02 12:50

So it's like we tend to have a hard stop around 9 30.

SPEAKER_00 12:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 12:53

Where I'd have a hard stop more at more like a 10 30, 11.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

So I hold it back, and yours is probably I was usually I my my prior plan had been I'm in bed by 8 45, and that does not happen much anymore. I think we did it last week once, but that was rare. It's rare. So yes, sleep has been uh I think the thing we've both had to adjust more than some of these other things potentially. Um, but I think we are making it happen.

SPEAKER_02 13:19

And then big one, me food.

SPEAKER_00 13:22

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 13:23

Um, this one we laugh about uh for first and foremost. Uh calories and proteins my life. That's how I think. I don't think about anything more than that, pretty much. That's why sometimes my breakfast can be two non-yogurt ratio proteins, and that could be it. Or I could literally have a two protein bars and a protein shake for breakfast. Lara would be like, none of that's whole food. And I'd be like, Well, hit my calorie, my protein. And uh then my lunch could be something relatively uh not well put together. And then usually I would have a put together dinner and that's usually about it.

SPEAKER_05 14:01

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 14:02

And um where Lara is a lot more food diverse and wanting to have as many colors and t and types and textures, and I asked Tom, my old Rome, ask anyone who used to spend more time with me. I'm totally fine eating what people would call cat food. Like basically a slop of a ground turkey or ground beef with something on the side and putting it into a little slop and calling it a day. Not a big deal to me. But Lara loves having a very vibrant, diverse meal with olive oil and citrus and fruits and vegetables and all the all the fixings. I just think of time to efficient to calorie to protein ratio. Like if it takes more than four minutes for me to put my meal together, that's a problem. Usually that would that in the past used to be a problem. It used to be a problem. So that's been a learning curve to me. And we actually just had this kind of conversation recently.

SPEAKER_00 14:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 15:00

Because while yes, we we meal prep more amounts of whole foods that we can dance with, because I still always did that to a degree, but it usually was just one or two of my meals, not three of my meals. Um the you enjoyed the process of making a meal.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

I do enjoy the process. I sometimes don't want to spend the time doing it either, but I think the thing too is I didn't just go from doing my own thing to then living with you and having to restructure how we do meals. I went from living with one other person, because I was living with Jana, and then from with her to with you, because it's a lot of fun to cook with somebody else and spend time in the kitchen with somebody else if they also enjoy it. And the two of us live together for a while and we got really good at we uh we did what we called the kitchen dance really well. Like you just know what the other person's working on, and you just kind of work together and the stuff gets done faster that way. And so I think there was something to that that's scared of knives. I can do the knife work, that's fine. But um, so I think when we cook together, I think we enjoy eating a lot of the same things, but it's not the same way to make the meal when I was working with Jana than with you, because her and I didn't even have to talk about what was going on. You just knew what was happening. And David's like, what do I do with this thing?

SPEAKER_02 16:23

Yep. How do I do this? How many grams? I don't know how to do this.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

So it's just like working with a like preparing food. Preparing food with someone who's as advanced as you and then going then working with someone who is I'm an ape, not just advanced in cooking.

SPEAKER_02 16:41

She's calling me an ape. I don't know how to like I can make I can go to McDonald's.

SPEAKER_00 16:47

Okay, I worked to cultivate my skills of cooking for years and you didn't, so sorry.

SPEAKER_02 16:52

I made cat food.

SPEAKER_00 16:54

And so I think, but I think the good thing and where this works real how it's worked really well, and I don't think it's been a big deal, is that even though we ate in different ways, our goal for eating is relatively similar. And this is something that going back to, we wouldn't have probably got married and liked each other if we had met earlier on. Um before I started strength training, I looked at food in a very different way. And then after I started strength training, I started seeing food, and food became a my relationship to food really did change and it became more similar to how your relationship with food and knowing like what is this fueling, what are the goals that's getting me those types of things as opposed to how I used to think about food. And so I feel like that has worked. That's why it works, because even though I don't get quite the variety sometimes that I used to get. Not bad. Um, I know I'm like, well, maybe I don't have anything green in this meal today, which is kind of painful, but at least I know I'm getting good protein, I'm getting good carbs. You know, I know these things are still uh giving me the goals that I want down the road.

SPEAKER_02 17:59

Now a big one that has been a conflict that we've both had to work through is Lara and Jana are the outlier of a population of the ability to have sweets and succulent desserts in and around the kitchen 24-7, 365, and not turn into a bear at 10 o'clock and just want to eat it all. So like it was easy when we didn't live together, where yeah, I would be there, but you wouldn't really, it wasn't that big of a deal because because I it really is like a 10 o'clock thing. I can turn into a different human being. And when we first started living together, it was there was more stuff, and I would just eat it.

SPEAKER_00 18:47

That's so funny that you bring this up now, because I guess I didn't realize that you felt like there's a difference now.

SPEAKER_02 18:52

Yeah, there is there is Oh, that's funny. Yeah, there's a de there's definitely a difference now.

SPEAKER_00 18:55

This is like therapy.

SPEAKER_02 18:56

Yeah, like there, there's there's you you have definitely pulled back on the diversity and the amount of sweets, whether they sit in the freezer or they're in the cabinet in the top right or whatever. There's not as much.

SPEAKER_00 19:11

Well, I will say part of that is that I used to make a lot of my own stuff, and just how our life is now set up, I just don't have as much time to bake. And so I just don't have as much around because of that factor. That is one reason to I used to bake a lot more. But I know you don't you don't want the things that I'm gonna bake, not because you don't like them, because you just don't want them around. Well, I just make them.

SPEAKER_02 19:32

Yeah. I mean, contrary to popular belief, I like there there is such a dance to this where this is a system that works better for me, is just have the serving size of the treat you want, and then don't have it around. Yeah, and that's that's my strategy that's worked really well. I'm not afraid of the suite. I don't want in I don't want infinite accessibility. And like there's some people that can handle the accessibility and it's not a big deal, and that's fine. I'm not one of them.

SPEAKER_00 20:03

And you know, it's like I have learned that about you. And like, because I love you, babe. I'm okay with that. Yeah, it's fine. No, but this was a funny example is Janna gave us four chocolate bars to do a chocolate tasting one time. And um, they came home to the house and I put them in the cupboard because I'm like, oh, this is perfect. I like to have a piece of chocolate after dinner every night. And then like two nights later, I went into the cupboard and I'm like, where'd all the chocolate go? And it was it was literally all gone.

SPEAKER_02 20:31

Jojo did it. It was all gone. No, no, wrong, wrong. Of the three chocolate bars, mind you, all of them had been nibbled on. They weren't they're gonna be able to.

SPEAKER_05 20:40

Yeah, but there was plenty left.

SPEAKER_02 20:42

There was plenty left. I would say out of the three chocolate bars, every chocolate bar had at least two-thirds there. Okay. So so each chocolate bar was two-thirds of it. No, no, no, no. At least two-thirds.

SPEAKER_00 20:50

Well, you mean when it's when we started. Right. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:52

So each chocolate bar was a third gone. Yes. Okay. But two-thirds were there of all three chocolate bars. Over those two, two or three nights, I ate two full chocolate. The the next I ate two of the two-thirds of the bars, and then a third of the last. So there was one third left of one bar.

SPEAKER_00 21:14

And I just, it was, it was I didn't I didn't I didn't care that you ate it, but I was like, I never saw you eat it. So I'm when did you eat it?

SPEAKER_02 21:21

It's 10 o'clock. I do I do it right before I sneak up and go to bed. Like you go up to bed first, and then I'm like, like a little scurrying cat. I go to the car cupboard real quick and go run upstairs.

SPEAKER_00 21:32

So, yes, that now I do understand this to some degree, um, what you deal with, because I feel that in one situation.

SPEAKER_02 21:42

What?

SPEAKER_00 21:43

Ruffles potato chips.

SPEAKER_02 21:45

Yes, I've watched you go savage on Ruffles.

SPEAKER_00 21:48

I cannot stop on those things. So I fully understand I understand that feeling because I have it for these potato chips. Don't have them around me. I can't stop. So it's just you have a Wider ranges as well. Food that works for.

SPEAKER_02 22:04

Well, I've been down 200 pounds for over a decade. So I got your boys got some things figured out. I'm not perfect.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

So there's just less baked goods, which is not a problem for anything. And continuing on the food topic. You're made of cheese. Well, there is that too, yeah. So I used to eat a lot of cheese. Let's just say that. I love cheese. And I eat a lot less cheese now because David is scared of fat.

SPEAKER_02 22:26

It's calories and protein. So whether it's the whether I gotta be really thinking about the ki the the carbs on something or it's the fat on something, it's just the both. It's just I think calories and protein.

SPEAKER_00 22:37

David's scared of cheese.

SPEAKER_02 22:38

I'm just I'm just cognizant of fat because it's very calorically dense and it can get away from you.

SPEAKER_00 22:46

But I like, you know, I like this like balance of things. And so you have a little bit of fat, a little bit of crunch, a little bit of nut, a little bit of seed, a little bit of that.

SPEAKER_02 22:53

I a hundred percent agree. But then it's like I do find and you do a good job at balancing serving sizes. Yeah. I also find it fascinating, like a great example of the if you if if if more people again thought about food generally through the the whole food lens and then calories and protein. And you kept that cadence, so much of the rest would just fall into place. And so one of the mistakes that people fall into is okay, what has been societally driven as a health food and like it helps you lose weight? What's a classic, what's a classic meal?

SPEAKER_00 23:34

A meal?

SPEAKER_02 23:35

Yes. When like when someone's like, I'm going on a diet and I'm going to lose weight. What is a classic m type of meal that people lean on? Yes.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_02 23:47

High five. I love it. Um the reason why I say that is you know how many people out there go to Forrest Hills Foods and they go to their salad bar and they make their little salad, and then they take this shh just like seven ounces of shredded cheese, put it on the top, and then they take four ounces of nuts. Yeah, four ounces of nuts, and then they take three cups of ranch and go. And they just turn that salad from what could be 300, 350 calories, and now it's 1400. And like, why? Because that's all fat. Like that, that's what happened there. And so someone takes what they perceive to be a healthy, calorically effective meal, and then they lose track of fat, and then whoom, they just say they just turned a 350 calorie meal into a 1300 calorie meal, adding a bunch of fat. Now, again.

SPEAKER_00 24:43

Well, we don't have this problem.

SPEAKER_02 24:44

I know that, but it's but it's still something that like comes into play. So like it's something that we eat less cheese.

SPEAKER_00 24:51

We don't eat a lot of cheese. The cheese lady, I'm sorry. My um my patronage has really gone downhill.

SPEAKER_02 24:58

I digress. They do carbs. It's the same thing.

SPEAKER_00 25:01

It's like I'm like Um The other thing food-related, kind of food and beverage related, would be um, and I was never a massive alcoholic. She was an alkie guy. No.

SPEAKER_02 25:14

No, she wasn't.

SPEAKER_00 25:15

I enjoyed wine, and my sister and I like wine, and we would have wine here and there. We live by a wine, a really nice wine shop. And so we would do that on weekends sometimes. David doesn't drink. And so um I drink twice a year. Very, very minimally. Twice a year.

SPEAKER_02 25:28

And I had a sip at the Dan and Shea concert.

SPEAKER_00 25:31

I had one sip. I had one sip. Um, and so I'm not gonna open a bottle of wine for myself. And I don't like drinking. I like I want to drink with if I'm gonna drink wine, I want to do enjoy it with other people. And so I drank plenty in Europe on our honeymoon. Yeah, you did. But so I don't drink as much wine, which is totally fine. I have zero problem with that, and it's great. But that has changed. That changed. All right, what you got?

SPEAKER_02 25:55

All right, what are the other things? Um talked about sleep, we talked about exercise, exercise, um, cheese, general meal prep. Um anything, okay.

SPEAKER_00 26:09

This is not something we talk about a lot, but when talking about health, when I talk to my patients, I talk about exercise, I talk about nutrition, I talk about sleep, I talk about stress and like that side of things. And I don't think either of us are very stressed people or anxious people, but has anything changed and how you manage and deal with stress?

SPEAKER_02 26:28

No. Um I've had a couple like just just with everything going on in life with between bunker and the practice and all that kind of stuff, and we all have this moment of like you want to be farther ahead, there's so much to do, blah, blah, blah. You can have these moments of like steering the headlights kind of deal. Um but other than that, no. Nothing's really changed much from that.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

How do you how do you feel like you deal with when you do have stress, what do you do? Do you do you have anything?

SPEAKER_02 26:58

So like what are my what are my like stress relieving tactics?

SPEAKER_00 27:01

Yeah, what are your strategies?

SPEAKER_02 27:03

My go-to past was going like back in the day it was driving.

SPEAKER_03 27:06

Oh, really? That's interesting.

SPEAKER_02 27:08

I just drive in a car and listen to music.

SPEAKER_03 27:10

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_02 27:11

Um, that's always been like a big one in the past. Um I mean, I tend to work out my aggression in the morning in the gym, which is definitely a stress reliever. Uh something on the pop my mind.

SPEAKER_00 27:27

I mean, I haven't seen you go up many drives, but you're not feeling stressed. Uh you I mean, I don't think uh there's any you know, I used to sometimes uh this is when this is an example of this. When I was in medical school, you have to take your first set of boards are hugely important, at least when I was there. Big, big, big deal. And the day before our board exam, you know, you're trying to, you're still studying, even though you've been studying for 10 weeks nonstop. Um, but I was trying to study last-minute stuff. I was like, I cannot do this. I am like anxious about this test. I can't look at this stuff anymore. It's not getting in my brain. So I went and I went, I started baking. I was like, I gotta bake something. So that really did help, and it took my mind off of what I was doing because when you bake, you have to be paying attention to what you're doing. It's you have to follow these instructions or it's not gonna turn out. And so that really helped at the time. Um, so I would say sometimes baking. I like going for walks if I'm stressed and walks above.

SPEAKER_02 28:32

I would say walk is divide too.

SPEAKER_00 28:33

Um, and I would say, I mean, I think it's always I mean, you're a big verbal guy. I think talking is helpful for a lot of people in stress management or stress relief. And I wouldn't say I didn't talk before because I lived with my sister and we talked a lot. But I think now it's like now I talk to you about stuff in life. And so I think that's just how we communicate with each other is different than how me and my sister communicated with each other. So I think that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_02 28:58

Now, here's one that I was just looking uh and thinking about that is something that aligns with us both is cleanliness. Oh, yes. And remember talking to Pat about this. Pat's like, you two are adorable. Um Lara and I are both very we're very clean-oriented people, don't want to clutter around, stay on top of things. Uh and so thank goodness, yeah. Oh, I've lived with way too many people that I basically become a freaking mom because I clean up everyone, because especially even with dudes. I'm sure that's I've dealt with oh like, oh yeah, I'm gonna do the dishes by letting them stack up in the sink. That's not doing dishes. You have this face that, like, oh of course, but you do it.

SPEAKER_00 29:48

Well, I was just um thinking that if if I didn't encourage us to do the dishes for after dinner, I don't think that I think they'd get stacked up sometimes.

SPEAKER_02 29:58

Lies. Lies. But I digress. Yes. Um so we have our tradition of Monday nights we do the mainstairs. Downstairs. And then Thursday nights, we do the upstairs.

SPEAKER_03 30:12

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_02 30:12

And so we vacuum the main floor, we do all that kind of stuff, and then clean the traps, I do the toilets.

SPEAKER_00 30:19

Thanks, babe.

SPEAKER_02 30:20

Um, I do the kitchen stuff. Huh?

SPEAKER_00 30:23

I do a lot like a deeper clean of the kitchen, usually.

SPEAKER_02 30:25

Yeah, and I tend to do the vacuuming and all that kind of stuff.

SPEAKER_00 30:28

And I think that's been it's worked really well. I think there's weeks that obviously something comes up or you're doing something, and so we just adjust, and that's it.

SPEAKER_02 30:36

Yeah, it was like it was like this Monday. Like I knew you had a long day. Yeah. And I went back and I had some time in my hands, and I'm like, what am I gonna do? And so I did the main cleaning in the kitchen that uh in the main floor that day, and so you didn't have to.

SPEAKER_00 30:50

So I could just And so it's like you have good a good intention, a good plan, but if if the plan doesn't work for a week, it's totally fine.

SPEAKER_02 30:57

Except for when you have a white lab. Yeah, he kind of sunny really jacks up the once a week cleaning mentality of like the floor. Well, I mean, I still It's so ridiculous between having a I get I totally get why people like poodles now. Because the the the hypo hypoallergenic. Yeah, hypoallergenic because she doesn't shed. Oh my gosh. Like it's sunny here on wood floors everywhere.

SPEAKER_00 31:22

But uh our cleaning habits have been, I think, really spot on, which is great. And then I think we didn't even I don't think we thought about this, but this is called Vitals and Values. So a huge part of health would be spiritual health. And I think that is something that we're making our own as uh a couple together. And I think that's been also obviously incredibly valuable for just whole the holistic health.

SPEAKER_02 31:48

Well, that was we talked about that um in marriage counseling, uh pre premarital counseling, um, where we obviously verbalize prayer um at dinner. I grew up in a household where s like the main the main dinners, like your Thanksgiving, your Christmases, you verbalized it. But then the rest, we always we'd always we often did silent prayers, like everyone would just do a silent prayer. And that was something that you didn't come from.

SPEAKER_00 32:20

Oh no, we sat down for dinner every night and we prayed and had devotions, either at the end or at the beginning of the meal.

SPEAKER_02 32:25

Yeah. Every and then uh and then we added obviously the the nightly post-dinner devotional which we're holding a eighty percent success rate on doing. Not perfect. Yeah, eighty percent.

SPEAKER_00 32:39

But I think those kind of habits sometimes get kind of forgotten about, and I think having that consistency together has been very important.

SPEAKER_01 32:49

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 32:50

And uh also weekly church.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 32:52

So and we are going to be soon uh joining our church together.

SPEAKER_02 32:59

So it's been a dance because I never was a part of a church, like actually like officially a member. Um, and then obviously.

SPEAKER_00 33:07

And I'm gonna have a a bittersweet um separation from my church of youth.

SPEAKER_01 33:12

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 33:13

Gotta grow up. So we are developing our own routines and our own healthy habits as a pair, and I think it's been working really well, and I'm really excited to see where it goes.

SPEAKER_01 33:26

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_00 33:26

So maybe we should recap this in a year and see what's changed. But I feel like it, I think, um, for good or for bad, when you get married not straight out of, say, college when you're in your early 20s, it's just a different experience. And I think it I someone I heard describe this as the difference between a starting a business and a merger of a business, and when you're doing it later in life, is more of a merger than a starting. Um, and so I think because a lot of our values have aligned, it has worked relatively seamlessly.

SPEAKER_02 33:58

Yeah, and at this point, I mean again, we all grow, but some of those cornerstone foundations that you're built in your teens and twenties. Like you the the the the re the the amount of resistance that happens in the the change in the teen in teens and twenties versus thirties, forties, and fifties tends to be significantly less. Um and so like at this point, it's not like two people got married at 19, they were the high school sweetheart type steals, and then all of a sudden they're both 25, and now one person is significantly different because they grew in a different way, and now there's all this inner c like conflict because they kind of because there are character character traits of what they want to do.

SPEAKER_00 34:46

Well, because I mean, uh, as we said, I am a very different person now than I was when I was 22. And so we just developed who we are now separate from each other, um, as opposed to working through it all at the same time. Um, but it's been going really well and can't wait for many more years to come.

SPEAKER_02 35:03

Absolutely. Well, three months, we'll do this again in a year.

SPEAKER_00 35:07

Absolutely. We'll wait. I know you're all waiting for it.

SPEAKER_02 35:11

With that being said, guys, have a phenomenal day, and we'll talk to you all later.

SPEAKER_00 35:14

Bye.